I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Randomize
