i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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