Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize