she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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