I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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