I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What a dumb baby whore.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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