what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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