I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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