Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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