Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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