i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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