Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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