he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You dont lie about slip and slides
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
