are you still at the devil's house?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
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