Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
