I'm jealous of your bromance
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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