i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The beer is more important than you right now.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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