so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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