I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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