I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
