the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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