hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
