Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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