I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
