So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
