If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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