I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
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