I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
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