Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
