the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize