Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
