So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
handjob tips. give me some.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
