The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize