i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
