how hairy? two words: wookie tits
P.S. I can't hear my feet
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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