i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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