I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
