Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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