you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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