"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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