Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
