i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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