I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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