she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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