I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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