His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
