I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
