Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Randomize
