Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
