it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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