So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize