I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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