epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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