I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Terrible idea I love it
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Your penis caused this!
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