what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
