You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
