I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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