Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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