I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
