i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
