I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize