just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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