So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Randomize
