I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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