I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
