week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
