Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
