I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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