ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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