My brain says no but my pants say off.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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