good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize