well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
