There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
