let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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