He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
