Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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