The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
