Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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